Self- destruction

Self- de•struc•tion (noun) 

-behavior that cause serious harm to oneself. 

Self destruction. Funny shit. 
You spend all your time building up walls around yourself to protect yourself from hurtful people and hurtful things. You pray about it, you put all your hope and faith in it, you believe in yourself and your walls with all your heart and soul. Your walls are crafted in a special and unique way it is a protection made just for you. You thought of every detail when perfecting your walls of protection. You chose only the kind bricks with good character and strong judgement to keep you safe. You built the walls with love. The walls are bulletproof. It is truly a remarkable masterpiece, nothing.. not even nuclear warfare could break down the walls. You are safe. You are so proud of the walls. People come by and stare and gawk in amazement of you doing the unthinkable. People are near you because they like your walls, they think they are beautiful and mesmerizing. They do not fear your walls, they are actually drawn to them.  

But you missed something, just one small flaw in the detailed floor plan. The most clear and the easiest detail, the one that should have been first in the process. You. 

You see you are a time bomb waiting to explode. You built all the walls to keep out the things that might hurt you. But you didn’t fix yourself you only protected yourself from the outside. You never figured out the code to deactivate your own explosion you forgot you were capable of destroying the walls you put up. 

You are now exploding from the inside out. Your walls are all collapsing leaving you exposed, exploding, and vulnerable. People are too close to you they can not move away fast enough as thhey now are realizing the walls can not protect them. As you explode your weapon is not death, it’s the heart. You break your own heart while exploding and spinning out of control you are unsure of how this is happening and how your walls could be tumbling down, you were so careful. You are now exploding the hearts of the people right outside the walls, the people closest to you. 

The walls have all fallen to the ground, no one is around you. You realize only you were capable of causing yourself this much pain. You realize you hurt yourself more than anyone or anything ever could have. But you have a choice, you can start from the ground up with a new foundation to your walls, this time stronger and better or you can try to figure out your deactivation code. 

Self destruction. Funny shit.